"Dear Miss Harmsworth,"Owing to the unexpected and phenomenal success of our little cinematic endeavour, I am able to enclose your share of the financial windfall that this success has brought us all."The popularity of the film was very largely due to your own all too brief appearance (as well as the photograph of you which appeared prominently on the video package.)"I wonder if you could be persuaded to appear in a follow up production which I plan to launch upon the public in the next few months. If you are interested - and I fervently hope that you are - give me a call at the earliest opportunity"Yours gratefully and sincerely Algernon." Great!" she muttered. "A whole new life stretches ahead of me as a nude icon and star of trash sexploitation cinema! Still - the money will be handy." (She had already spent quite a lot of her two million pounds - amazing how fast it goes!)There was another letter waiting for her and she recognised the writing with a stab of pain in her heart. It. . I moved six inches back from my original stance and gave it all I had.THWACKThree judges started stopwatches.It STUCK! Good God Almighty ... it stuck! and I was off and running to station number one.At station one I carefully loaded, powder in the measure, replace the violin peg stopper.Out loud I said, “POWDER-Patch-BALL ... short starter-patch knife-cut the patch-replace the knife-ram the ball-half cock-open the pan-prime-close the pan.”I looked up the hill. Holy Shit ... a white painted steel buffalo at least a hundred yards up the hill. I threw up the gun to my shoulder-full cock-took my sight ... set trigger-caress the trigger.BLAM! Ting!I hit it ... I hit it! I killed the white buffalo ... umh ... isn’t that bad luck?I was off again running to station two ... three strides and I was running in ankle deep water ... hydroplaning in three inches of water ... fresh water ... it wasn’t there yesterday ... and it was cold!I have to lie on my back in this? Those dirty bastards.
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